dating_payIt’s no secret that when it comes to picking up the tab, there’s a bit of confusion between men and women. My friend Audrey can attest to this from her date last week. She put her credit card down to split the bill, and the guy was so offended that Audrey had to chase down the waiter to take her card off. 

The rules of paying the bill get tricky because it’s so easy to offend someone when it comes to money. So here are some guidelines to go by when it comes to picking up the tab.

 1. First Date: Dude Always Pays Rule If you’ve read any of my posts, you know I’m a big fan of the dude picking up the tab on the first date. This may seem like common knowledge, but you’d be surprised how many first dates I’ve gone on that end up in splitsies or my lonely credit card picking up everything. Generally, women will offer to split it (out of politeness), but you should politely refuse and tell her it’s your pleasure. We appreciate this throwback to chivalry. 

2. Second-Fifth Date: 30/70 Rule You should still pick up dinner, but if she offers to get post-dinner drinks, then please let her. Many women need to feel like they’re contributing something financially to the night, and if we don’t, then we can feel uncomfortable. If you think you have the upper hand by buying everything on every date, you really run the risk of pushing her away. And if you’re the kind of guy that looks to have the upper hand, then you’re probably a dbag and not reading this. 

3. Sixth-10th Date: Go With the Flow Rule By now the two of you have been going out for a bit, but paying isn’t exactly a routine for you two. It’s ok to let her pick up an entire night–especially if she insists. It’s also alright to continue picking up the larger tabs, if that seems to be what you both are comfortable with. At this point, you’re not necessarily a couple, but you should have a gauge for how a date works with each other. 

Have more questions about the financials of dating? Hit me up! 

chloecline34@gmail.com

chloecline.com

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