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The use of online dating to aid in meeting that special someone has become, to many, a necessary evil. What happened to the days when you met a date through a friend, or at your local coffee shop, and could assess the dating candidate with (well, most or all) the five senses? Done deal. Hopefully, what you saw was what you got.

Instead, these days, with the ability to establish a cyber relationship through texting, emailing, or late night phone conversations, the expectations are sky high upon your first in person meeting and the chances of hitting it off are as likely as winning the current lottery. Discouraging? Just a tad. After all, who in reality can compete with the perfect 10 you have deliciously created in your mind at the sound of her voice on the phone, or being titillated over her wicked sense of humor and quick wit over texting, or the pictures displayed on her profile that are 10 years past due?

Never fear, one can still use online dating as an easy resource for meeting others by using it more strategically. Use it to peruse and connect with interesting prospects, but try to meet as soon as logistically possible in order to avoid those gremlins that have you making up the world’s perfect woman (none exist), only to have your expectations dashed without a real chance of getting to know the true gem in front of you. She may be the girl for you, but you are stuck with trying to blend the woman in front of you with the woman you made up. Give yourself the best chance for a real connection by using cyber communication for logistics only–like you are running 5 minutes late or ideas on where to meet.

Look at it this way, the sooner you rule her in or out with your adult male brain (not your 16-year-old self), the closer you are to relationship bliss with that not-so-perfect 10, but perfect for you. I know, hard to believe you aren’t either, but thank God it isn’t necessary or none of us would be happily coupled. One last tip. Treat her well and notice how good it makes her feel and you–even if she isn’t the one for you.  We all want the same, so make your contribution to the dating world being a better dating place.

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